Dear Julia, 

How I wish you had never said goodbye. You have turned all my desires into dreams and regrets. I wish I had never said that I loved you, that I always felt you in my bones even when I slept, because, all this would still happen and you would feel so in your heart. 

You see, out here has never been good. When I thought I was making the right decision, so we were making the greatest mistake. But I will ever blame you for all my regrets, because you treated me like I was I nobody to you. You say you felt that you loved me, while I say you never treated me like you thought it was to be. 

There are things I could never want to hurt you with: The truths, the lies- they all looked the same to me, that if I told you the other, you would leave me cold and desperate at the balcony of the setting sun. 

Here I am, seeking another chance, that you may give me the dying opportunity I will never get in someone else. You know I loved and treasured you as my first, I want that to remain as it was, that you may be my forever together, I forever is what makes you happy. I want to miss you when I dream at night, and fight with my boss when I am late for work, all because of you. I want to live the life you had taught me to live, and love, and laugh, and care, and ask many questions about you. I want that life back Julia. 

All these things am asking again. That time when I walked away, I couldn’t feel the same, knowing that I owed the world nothing, to treat me as a slave in love, even when I was. In between us, I know our live still brawling, waiting to explored and revealing what really my heart wants yours to say and talk. I know you can do this. 

This time, I promise never to hurt you again, or walk away, or leave you alone. Let’s give each other a chance so that you may see what I am talking about. I hate when I feel my heart crying, and my mind wandering whether you are safe. I truly do. This time, sell me your trust, and I guarantee profit in return. Please do this for me, because I love you and I miss you, and I want you back to my life.

Love, 

Jesse